Blog #23: Experience The Future of eBooks

Now, this is a false newspaper clipping that I created specifically for this blog post, but its message is very clear and 100% true! This blog post is a way for me to say what I want to say, how I want to say it, and get the word out on a very important publishing company that I am very honored and proud to be apart of: Grit City Publications! (www.gritcitypublications.com)

I’ve been writing for over 15 years and thanks to Amazon, I am able to post by books online for others to read via eBooks. I have collected countless rejection letters from publishing companies over the years and I admit, when I learned of eBooks, I gave up submitting to publishers. However, as I’ve said in previous posts, one woman names Alexis Jenny, an editor and fellow ‘The Walking Dead’ fan, introduced me to Grit City Publications via Twitter. Every dog has his day and a few days later, I had work submitted and accepted by this company. It was now time to repay the favor.

I give credit to those that do and this is one of those ‘credits’! Below are the eBooks, called Emotobooks, that ONLY Grit City Publications produces! NO ONE ELSE IN THE WORLD creates this future of eBooks for they are created uniquely! What is an Emotobook? Conceived by Grit City Publications CEO & Founder, Ron Gavalik, are eBooks that heightens emotional awareness in stories. With abstract, emotionally provocative illustrations in each story to depict what characters feel during moments of emotional consequence. These expressive elements provide a cerebral and visual stimulation, which enhances the impact of the experience.

And now, for your entertainment, I proudly present the links to the future of eBooks: Grit City Publication’s Emotobooks!

(Emotoseries) GRIT CITY by: Ron Gavalik

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(Emotoseries) SWING ZONE by: Jodi McClure

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(Emotoseries) LILY DAIR by: Jack Bates

(Emotosingle) LINGERING IN THE WOODS by : Cynthia Ravinski

(Emotosingle) SUBURBIANS by: William Kosh

(Emotosingle) TABAKA by: Jason D. Bryant

Horror, Romance, Adventure, Thrillers, Mysteries, Fantasy, and last but far from least, Science Fiction; Grit City Publications has them all! Don’t just ‘read’ an Emotobook, ‘experience’ an Emotobook! This style of eBooks is the future and Grit City Publication, a second home to me, is paving the way forward! Enjoy the ride, descend yourselves in the stories, embrace the talented artwork, venture into their website (www.gritcitypublications), and if you wish to be apart of the future, submit your manuscript to them! Maybe even you could help lay down the pavement to widen the road of the future…!

Til next time…

Blog #22: Let The Radio Be Your Muse

How many films have you seen that were influences or inspired by video games, or vise-versa? How about book adaptations from television shows or movies? Ever heard of a song written and performed just for the sake of a specific scene in a motion picture? I’ll answer this for you: yes, you have. We all have to the point where, at times, it can be cliché. There is inspiration for everything everywhere for anything, if the right person is there.

And it takes a unique person, no doubt about it. All it takes is for a single person to see, hear, smell, taste, touch, or get an emotional response from something, and BAM!, the inspiration is there. But I would like to focus on a special type of inspiration that is not mentioned much. Let me begin by example; an honest to Zeus truth example:

My uncle was a die-hard Beach Boys fan for as long as I ever knew him. Even at his funeral, the Beach Boys was being played. Because of him, I know every song. He was also a dedicated fan of the season Halloween and was widely known for his special effects for various amusement haunted facilities. Years later, I came across a short story by Stephen King in the book SKELETON CREW called Beachworld. It’s a sci-fi thriller about a two man crew who crashes on a planet inhabited only by sand, and something in the sand. Yet, a character in the story is constantly reminded of several Beach Boys lyrics as they go insane. For me, this was a match made in heaven personally between my favorite uncle and my favorite author.

It was here I got to thinking about inspiration: if movies can be made based off video games and book adaptations can be written from television shows, why can’t stories be written based off songs? Maybe, I don’t know, but using the basis from Stephen King’s Beachworld, songs are truly an inspiration for many things. Here are a few more examples:

“Convoy” by CW McCall, 1975; film created in 1978

“Stayin’ Alive” by The Bee Gees, 1977; film created in 1983

“The Wall” by Pink Floyd, 1979; film created in 1982

Nine Inch Nails album “Year Zero”, 2007; television show created in 2010

“White Rabbit” by Jefferson Airplane, 1967, based off Alice In Neverland

“Among The Living” by Anthrax, 1987, based off of a Stephen King’s The Stand

The question is, what song would you use to influence you into writing the songs sequel, a television series, a manuscript for a film, your own short story, or the next world wide pop cultural best seller?

Til Next Time…

Blog #21: Sneak Peek=Chp. 1 of BLOODLINES #1: Land of Confusion

As some of you may or may not know, my brother and I co-created an author and a 100-book saga. Debuting in Jan. 2013 from author Darrell Scott comes a 5 year journey of lies, deceit, conviction, and realization as they not only discover the truth of their erased lives but the future fallout of mankind’s own future: BLOODLINES!

Please enjoy Chapter 1 of BLOODLINES #1: Land of Confusion.

1

“I’m going to rip your heart out…,”

Beaten beyond recognition. Battered to the point of death. Both swollen eyes, looking like pink and purple kiwis, seeped of puss and bright red blood. The nose was smashed into the face by a force stronger than any one man can physically do with a mere fist. Some teeth were missing, others were bent inward. Where the lips and cheeks were a smeared black and blue and drizzled in blood from the caved in nose. The mouth of the man was gaped open as if he was trying to inhale every breath of precious life he could; hard exhausted breath as if he just ran twenty miles before having the identity beaten off him.

Kalub Johnson stood toe to toe and chest to chest with the physically disfigured man, looking down at his victim’s face. Somehow, in his head, Kalub heard the world ‘victim’.

“Victim? VICTIM?! Oh No! No, No, NO! VICTIM’S don’t DESERVE the punishments that they are FORCED to ENDURE! YOU…,” his uproar lowered to a diabolical whisper, “…you, you fuck, Are…No…Victim!”

Kalub’s left fist was wound in the other man’s shirt so tightly, the skin on his knuckles tore open like a banana peel being bent too far. The thought of the other man as a ‘victim’ only enraged further. Kalub’s right hand had every shade of every color in the rainbow except for green from bruises, lacerations, and a smeared mixture of the other man’s blood and Kalub’s own blood mixed together.

Kalub felt no pain. Instead, he felt powerful and fueled with a rage that he never knew existed. Without looking away from the man’s face, Kalub blindly reached over to his right and he felt something metal in his hands. With his mind’s thought, he felt the metal was brittle and flakey, but solid. And thin.

“Perfect,”

Kalub brought the flat strip of rusted metal to his view and saw the wedge of iron in his hand. It was scrap piece of metal dis-formed triangular shape with rigid edges, looking obviously cut from a blow torch. With impressive speed, Kalub released his grip on the shirt and ignored the burning pain in his bleeding knuckles as he quickly reached up and grabbed the man’s lower jaw. His four fingers were wrapped over the bottom teeth of the man as his thumb was along the jaw.

Shoving the jagged metal into the man’s mouth, Kalub began to use the scorched ripped edges of the metal wedge and violently sawed into the man’s cheeks. The force of Kalub’s cuts were beyond vigorous as he pulled the man’s jaw side to side just as hard as the metal tore into the flesh of his mouth, like a person trying to cut a turkey in half starting with the ass end first with a hacksaw. Screams from the depths of Hell arose from the man’s throat as his mouth gapped open wider and as he screamed, the metals rigid side ripped into his tongue.

Kalub released his lower jaw and quickly grabbed a hard handful of the man’s hair, bending his head all the way back as he threw the metal scrap wedge behind him. His head folded back all the way like a step-pedal trashcan lid. The bottom jaw of the man seemed to flop downward like a broken tailgate.

“Let’s see if you like being FINGERED AND VIOLATED!”

Kalub yanked back harder on the man’s hair, gapping the man’s mouth open so far he could swallow a football, rose his right hand, and shoved it directly down the man’s throat. He felt the jaw bone on his right knuckle as it made contact, slightly gouging the already exposed wound.  As the walls of the man’s throat enclosed around Kalub’s hand, he positioned all of his fingers together like the top of a spear, and shoved his hand deeper down into the esophagus.

Kalub released his hair and grabbed the back of his shirt, pulling up on it as a driving force to shove his right hand down further into the man’s throat, like toddler shoving its entire arm into the top hole of a jack-o-lantern. The horrific screams of the man were gargled and gagged as Kalub’s forearm caused the man’s Adam’s Apple to lodge from its appropriate place. It seemed to want to burst through the skin.

“When I Said I Was Gonna Rip Your Heart Out, I MEANT IT!”

With this verbal threat, Kalub pulled up on the back of the shirt again and drove his hand, his wrist, and his forearm deeper into the man’s neck. The man’s eyes were bulging from their sockets, looking like sunny side-up egg yolks ready to pop. The man’s legs and life gave out from under him and Kalub allowed the now dead man to descend to the floor, letting his arm exit the torn throat with a handful of fresh flesh as he fell. A sprung leak of fresh red blood, a green chunky mixture, and an unknown purple fluid escaped out the mouth of the corpse as Kalub stood over his victim, clenching the flesh in his hand.

Book #1

Discover more about Darrell Scott on FACEBOOK http://www.facebook.com/authordarrellscott?fref=ts and on their WEBSITE http://www.jasondbryant.webs.com/ (Write us anytime, we’d love to hear from you!)

Blog #20: My Debut Emotobook

I began writing my 1st book back in 1998, simply giving a concept an idea. In 2000, the idea grew and I gathered personal real life experience to the book idea, thus creating an outline. It was here I learned that full length novels were not going to be my forte but instead, short stories were my ticket. By 2002, the book was well underway with a cover, a title, a concept, a fluid arrangement of consecutive short stories that interlinked, and a series of plots that fed off each story. The book was called BLOODDAY. In 2005, I finished it, and put it on a shelf in a manuscript box until 2009. I loved it but was embarrassed by it for it never saw the light of a real editor. In late 2010, I put the book on Amazon.com for the Kindle and I sold 13 copies. I removed it in 2011, again embarrassed for even putting it online.

I loved each story and I liked the unique way each story tells the entire book, like ores in a canoe, guiding the book along. What I was most embarrassed about was simple: me. I write as passion; a hobby, for fun. I can write anything and I can say, “I like this.” Someone else’s opinion is a different story! If John Doe from The Windy City says, “You’re book sucks.”, I wouldn’t care. I would smile, thank him for reading it, and be on my way to write some more, hopefully better. But if some famous author said that, I admit, I’d be in the corner re-enacting The Fly crying, “Heeelp Me! Heeelp ME!” I didn’t go to college to be a writer, nor have I taken any creative writing courses. Just College Comp I & II, that’s it.

I began helping others with their stories, ideas, overview, drafts, concepts, illustrations, directions, and projects; completely ignoring my own. But then, in the midst of discovering Twitter, I met someone. A ‘THE WALKING DEAD’ fan who also is an editor: Alexis Jenny, and she told me about Grit City Publications and what they do. A month later, I submitted all 7 stories from BLOODDAY and another short story to them, just to see what they thought, nothing thinking any of the 8 would be liked. To my complete surprise, they accepted 5 of the 8 to be formed into Emotobooks! I never saw this coming!!!

I’m proud to say that after under a year of learning the company’s mission goal, discovering what an Emotobook is (which is the future of eBooks, ladies and gentlemen), and the incredible production staff, I am proud to announce that all my 10 years of hobby writing short stories, wrestling episodes, and project building with other authors has FINALLY paid off, and in a BIG WAY! With the powerful help of my editor Rebecca M. Hoffman, the Grit City Publishing CEO Ron Gavalik, and the newest illustrator to the company Darcy Lynn, my debut Emotobook TABAKA will be hitting eReaders world-wide!

Click this link to learn about Grit City Publications from Pittsburg PA, Emotobooks, all the Emotobook authors : http://www.gritcitypublications.com/Grit_City_Publications/Emotobooks.html

But as for what TABAKA is about begins with a question for you: If you were able to have perfect posture, self-healing capabilities, scar free and unblemished skin, uncontrollable pheromones, be ageless for decades, and be completely desirable to anyone; what would you sacrifice about yourself to have such a life? Your dignity? Your morals? Your soul? And what if you had no choice but to subdue to this lifestyle under restraint, forced to be attractive and beautiful for people were your meal ticket to perfection, as well as your meal itself? How would you live? How would you cope? Well, meet Sarah Dayer.

An ageless and pompous creature named TABAKA inhabits itself into Sarah Dayer for the rest of her life, offering her everything she needs to exist like no other human. What would be considered medical gifts, such as being physically flawless and immune to all diseases, Sarah finds these so-called miracles as bounded traps to keep Its existence inside her body. After a year of dealing with Tabaka’s existence, and after self-analyzing everything she’s ever learned about It, she believes she knows the way to remove It from the world before it can cause the living nightmare of Tabaka to exist in someone else. (TABAKA, the debut Emotobook from Grit City Publications written by Jason D. Bryant, edited by Rebecca M Hoffman, and illustrated by Darcy Lynn; coming January 2013!)

Until Next Time,

Blog #19: Why I Changed The Title Of My Blog

I began this blog, originally titled MY JOURNEY ON HOW I BECAME PUBLISHED IN PRINT, just over a year ago, without a clue on what I was doing as a blogger. (Truth be told, I still don’t quite get it. That is unless a blog is a journal that is for the world to see, then I sort of get the concept. But even then, 19 posts in only 15 months? Yup, Exactly! Why? Honestly, I don’t have that much to say!) Anyway, I stayed dedicated and wrote this quote in my 1st blog posting:

“…Well, today is August 15th, 2011. I’m giving myself 1 year to get just one of my books in print in my hands. I’m re-editing all my work. Re-thinking all my ideas. Starting from scratch without drastically re-writing anything I’ve written so far…”

It’s been over a year, and no, I have not been published in print where I can hold it in my hands. It wasn’t until recently I’ve realized being in print where I can hold it in my hands wasn’t exactly what I really wanted. I wanted and still want, as every author does, is it just TO BE read!

So, I winged the idea of blogging, just to get my feet wet, so to speak. Then I realized the title didn’t work, because…well…writing isn’t a daily exciting drama filled experience that has a new adventure to share on a daily basis! It’s more like, “Okay, today I wrote 10 pages.” The next day, “I wrote 2 pages and checked my Facebook.” And the next day, “I wrote 4 pages and watched my 3 shows on the DVR.” The following day, “I didn’t write anything because of a headache.” Four days pass, and still nothing gets written until the fifth day and you’d blog, “Today I felt guilty and busted out 20 pages to make up for lost time. But 15 of those pages I’m probably going to pitch because I don’t think they’ll work. Damn whiskey…..”

Truth be told, this is usually the way it goes for writers who have kids, bills, a spouse, pets, and/or a full time-pain in the ass-work til you puke-next to nothing paying-overtime inconveniencing-dead end-9 to 5-job to support your life! (This being MY case.) So I went back through the blog postings I’ve written and realized that I write a blog post when I have something to say; whether it be advice on writing, help for other authors, jokes/comical concepts, and/or simple updates that I have to announce.

Therefore, MY JOURNEY ON HOW I BECAME PUBLISHED IN PRINT has been changed to WHEN THE INSPIRATION HITS because as a writer, this is how I function: I write when the time is right and when I’m hit by inspiration! For some goofy reason, I have a big hunch that I’m not alone in this concept!

Til Next Time,

Keep WRITING!

Blog #18: Right Here, Write Now!

We, the greatest procrastinators, have said them all: “It’s on my To-Do list.” “I’ll get to it after my show.” “When I get off work, I’ll tackle it right away.” “This weekend, I’ll get it done.” “Yeah, I’ll be able to work on it when the kids move out or when pigs fly, which ever happens first!” “During Christmas break is when I’ll finish it.” “You find me the time, I’ll work on it then!” “I can’t finish it, my computer is messed up again, running too slow.” and the classic, “I’ll do it later because I’ll have all the free time in the world!”

And yet…there “it” sits, awaiting your attention! So, dare I ask, what is “it”? An incomplete scrapbook? A manuscript that needs editing? Due homework? A list of chores? An unsorted pile of bills on the kitchen bar? A book that isn’t finished being read? WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE WHAT “IT” IS, RIGHT?!

Right!

So, what are you waiting for? Get it done and out of the way! Why do we wait and postpone the inevitable ? Oh, but even better, when we FINALLY DO finish the project, there is a rush of self-accomplishment and pride, right? The thought of, “Yes! It’s finished! I’m awesome and they’re going to love this! or I’m awesome and that was so worth it!” Why do we torture ourselves during that time of procrastination to finish something when the results of finishing the project are satisfying? It’s like buying your favorite dessert and leaving it in the fridge for a week or two, and then, out of the blue, you finally eat it satisfyingly! Why do we put ourselves through that?

Whatever your project is, regardless of what it is, DO IT! FINISH IT! GET IT DONE! COMPLETE IT! Gain that sense of pride and accomplishment as soon as possible to keep the drive of finishing projects going. Don’t deny what you deserve: the completion of a goal with results that can, and probably will, cause you to want to do more, create more, finish more, and feel satisfied with your goal settings!

Til next time…

Blog #17: Should I have 2, 3, 4, or 5 Leads?

A story is nothing without Lead Characters, whether they are people, animals, locations, or even things inanimate objects, just as toys or houses. Characters are the heart, soul, and driving force of making a reader want to know more; thus creating a powerful story. Lead Characters are sensually the focal point that interacts and changes the behaviors and actions of the supporting characters. But how many Lead Characters does your story need as the front line? Lets view a few examples:

Groups of 2: Highlander (Film) CONNER MACLEOD & LOBOS AMIREZ, Supernatural (TV) SAM & DEAM, Back To The Future (Film) MARTY MCFLY & DOC EMMETT BROWN, Gone With The Wind (Book) RHETT BUTLER & SCARLETT O’HARA, Harold & Kumar (Film) HAROLD & KUMAR, Men In Black (Film) K & J, Rush Hour (Film) DET. JAMES CARTER & CHIEF INSPECTOR LEI, Double Dragon (Video Game) BILLY & JIMMY

Groups of 3: Star Trek (multiple) KIRK & SPOCK & MCCOY, Harry Potter (multiple) HARRY & RON & HERMIONE,  Ice Age (Film) MANN & DEAGO & SID, The Matrix (Film) NEO & MORPHEUS & TRINITY, Twilight (Film) JACOB & EDWARD & BELLA, Futurama (multiple) PHILIP J FRY & LELA & BENDER

Groups of 4: Final Fantasy (Video Game) IVAN & KANE & MAGE & DOON, Ghostbusters (Film) VANKMAN & SPENGLER & STANTZ & ZEDMORE, Stand By Me (Film) CHRIS & TEDDY & VERN & GORDIE, The Dark Tower (Book series) ROLAND & EDDIE & DETA & JAKE, South Park (multiple) STAN & KYLE & ERIC & KENNY, Buffy The Vampire Slayer (TV) BUFFY & XANDER & WILLOW & GILES

Groups of 5 or more: Scooby-Doo (TV) SCOOBY & SHAGGY & FRED & VELMA & DAPHANE, Star Wars (multiple) LUKE & LEIA & HAN & R2D2 & CP3O & CHEWIE, Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers (multiple) JASON & KIMBERLY & ZACK & TRINI & BILLY, Voltron (TV) HUNK & ALLURA & SVEN & LANCE & KEITH & PIDGE, American Pie (Film) FINCH & OZ & JIM & KEVIN & STIFLER

The more Lead Characters a story has, the more obstacles the Leads have to complete their objective to the conclusion to the story. No matter the relationship (family, friends, love interests, comrades, etc.) between the Leads, a story only excels with a conflict, a threat, or a difference of opinion not only amongst the good vs. evil but amongst the Leads. Examples of these are as follows:

Group of 2: Marriage conflict, sibling rivalry, a team, opposites attract, brains & muscle, or but not limited to difference in age.

Group of 3: Size, Intelligence of different fields, a trio of heroes, a love triangle, or but not limited to difference in sex.

Group of 4: a team of heroes with their own individual strength, two pairs of opposites, sibling rivalry as individuals but unite as a unit, a trio of good with the odd man out, or but not limited to four complete individuals with a common purpose.

Group of 5: Typically with a large group of 5 Lead Characters, it is usually a group of individuals who are linked by friendship who all share a common goal and with with each other to solve differences and obstacles. This group tends to have conflicts in their inner circle but as a team effort, they set all differences aside to conquer the goal. With a large group of 5 or more, rarely with more than 5 leads, tends to have more than three adversaries to not only provide the threat and challenge to the Lead Characters but to dissolve their bond to break apart their connection. This tends for series to continue, sagas to unfold, and large casts of unique characters to mix and merge with the entire story, each one having their own chess move in the story.

What does your story need to open the imagination in you: the writer, or the reader? 2 Leads? 5 Leads? How long do you plan to tell your story? 1 book? Several? How strong are your Leads?

If your story is, metaphorically speaking, a human body: Does the body stand-upright with just the bone structure and muscles? Or do you take each body limb into consideration to support the body? (Arms, Legs, Bones, Muscles, Organs, Blood, etc.) Does a plant grow on water and sunlight alone? Or do you think a plant need more to grow, prosper, and open up? (Water, a pottery, nutrients, Sunlight, extra carbon monoxide, etc.)

The decision is up to you, and you alone. Explore your stories potential and options! See your characters and visualize the conflicts and hoops that lye ahead for them. How many Leads does it take to solve a conflict?

Til next time,

Keep on writing!

Blog #16: RESTRICTED AREA 2

Yes, it’s happening again and 1 week into the project, I have 6 Twitter followers who have already entered a plot for me to write a flash fiction story for them! And for the world to read for FREE!

Wait, what? What am I talking about?! You don’t know? What the hell is RESTRICTED AREA 2? Well, let me explain, fellow reader!

RESTRICTED AREA is my book collection of flash fiction short stories. Flash fiction stories (aka super short stories) are original stories that have a word count of 2000 words or less. Micro flash fiction are stories that are 500 words or less. Each flash fiction story plot comes from one of my real Twitter followers and I write the story for them, posting up the story for FREE for the world to read & enjoy on http://www.worthyofpublishing.com. (FREE, that is, until the finished book is released on http://www.amazon.com.)

This is an edited blog posting about my first RESTRICTED AREA project on 12-1-2012:

I wanted to do a project for a long time coming that was a true challenge to my writing ability. But challenging yourself is a lot like disciplining yourself: there is too much grey area to fail. I did a contest of http://www.writersdigest.com and participated in a restricted word count short story contest about a very vague plot that was provided for you. I had 300 words to write about a woman who found something of great importance in her glove box. I Had A Ball With This Contest! It was the challenge I was looking for. I didn’t place in the top 10, but I truly didn’t mind: I had my new concept to be challenged.

I sent invites to every single one of my Twitter followers and my Facebook followers. The invite had the title of the book: RESTRICTED AREA and a link (which is provided below) to the sight where the guidelines are. I wanted fresh new original concepts from everyday people and a word count of their own; and I would have to write a short story based off their short story plot and using only their word count. Their plot & @Twittername, would be in the book, too, to where readers can find them and Follow them, too. For me to write a story from their plot not only helps me better my writing but I have the change to make their creative idea a fully created story come to life.

The concept of RESTRICTED AREA has one basic theme: restriction. The “restriction” folds in many different ways. The person sending me the plot can only use 1 Tweet, restricting them to 140 characters to tell their plot. I am restricted as a writer to only use their restricted word count. Each plot I have to write, regardless of what the plot is, has to have a sense of a restriction; via a place, or an addiction, or a hesitation, or a feeling, or a moral. Everyone and everything in or about this novel is all based on some kind of restriction. Hence: RESTRICTED AREA.

This is the http://www.amazon.com link to RESTRICTED AREA: http://www.amazon.com/Restricted-Area-ebook/dp/B008MFFO7Y/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1344792139&sr=8-4&keywords=restricted+area (The finished product contains a ton of extras including all 10 flash fiction stories, the http://www.writersdigest.com story, a short story that I had written that I mused as an online contest for ALL online readers to enter a title for the story, all http://www.worthyofpublishing.com traffic, each Twitter follower, all their plots-comments-postings, and a very generous blog post from fellow Twitter friend and The Walking Dead fanatic: Alexis Jenny @lexisjen via Twitter.)

There is no deadline to submit a plot but I do have just a few “restrictions” (LOL) when submitting. 1) One submittion per Twitter follower. If you have more than one account, then you can submit again using your other account 2) The plot must be in 1 DM (Direct Message) Tweet only. 3) The word count limit must be between 200 and 1000 words, in 50 intrivals. (200, 250, 300…900, 950, 1000) Send me your plot via Direct Message on Twitter: @Jason_D_Bryant

If you would like to have a flash fiction story written for you or have any other question, feel free at any time via Twitter! I’d love to hear from you!

Til next time…

Blog #15: Remember The Almighty Quarter

The YMCA. Local restaurants like Pizza Hut. Convenience stores, such as 7-11 and Dairy Mart. Laundromats. The airport.  Hobby shops. The Mall. The entrances to superstores like Hills, Ames, or Wal-Mart. Once, long ago, they were everywhere! I’m talking about what each of these places once had in common: Arcades!

They were everywhere parents needed to be! And the kids told the parents, “We’ll wait for you by the arcade!” mesmerized by games that could never be conquered by a lone quarter. Yet, we tried anyway. Some of us begged for quarters, others mowed lawns in the neighborhood just to crack the High Score that could have been made by your best friend.

(However, I do recall a lot of High Scorer’s initials being A.S.S., which was weird! Must be a big family…!)

Anyway, many of us remember first true popular single consoles like Pac-Man, Donkey Kong, & Centipede.  As the years went on, the machines grew bigger and fancier, like Rootbeer Tapper & Slalom, that themed themselves like the game with large fancy displays instead of the traditional erect rectangle. Then came The Wheel controller that powered your vehicle: Spy Hunter, Super Sprint, & Off Road. All these video game consoles were also high up and standing.

That began to change…

Driving games, such as Hard Driving & S.T.U.N.N.E.R. began to have models to where you actually sat down! These games were amazing, for playing made you really a part of the game experience. But the arcade world would enhance to moving seat games, like Afterburner!

But something happened; an idea was created! Why should arcade games be limited to 2 people?

Games such as Golden Axe, Gauntlet, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles began to evolve, taking a screen the size of Afterburner and putting 4 joysticks and 8 buttons in front of it brought new life to the stand up consoles. Quickly there after, the large screen was replaced by duel screens, expanding the game experience to wide screen, such as X-Men.

But two buttons was still not enough.

Emerged from the arcade geniuses came legends such as Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat, & Killer Instinct: fighting games that used combos from 5 buttons to, but limited to, 7 buttons to execute gory special effects. And with these tournament style games came a barrage of sports games that blew away the competition with multiple buttons, large screens, and growing crowds such as NBA Jam, NFL Blitz, & Golden Tee!

However, back in the dusty realm of the arcades still sat the legends of the arcade creation, and not just Ms. Pac-Man, Galaga, & Sinistar, but Pinball machines! Horizontal rectangular games with amazing special features, unique ball shooters, and orange dot matrix screens to give the game theme new life!

Crowds began to draw near to every make and model of console that erupted into an existence of its own: The Arcade.

Thanks to the Almighty Quarter, the arcade universe as unstoppable! Quarters flew in and out of machines faster than kids were losing pinball games thanks to the creation of the Multi-Ball feature! Inside any arcade, you would hear the latest pop songs, the buzzing of basketball games, the losing of characters as they’d fall of the screen to their deaths, kids laughing, even the sounds of kids dancing on  huge platforms to see who, by points, could dance better to horrible music! The arcade universe was alive!

But not for much longer…

Game creations turned to consoles. Consoles turned to tournaments. Tournaments turned to home units, such as Nintendo & Sega. Arcades began to shrink as home units matured into the Super Nintendo & Playstation. Consoles began to disappear, along with the stores that used to house them. The arcade universe shrunk smaller and faster than the popularities of the Neo-Geo & Dreamcast. X-Box crawled out of the ashes and Playstation 2 battled for supremacy as the GameCube held onto Mario like a fat kid with his last donut.

The realm of the arcade shriveled down even further with the overwhelming popularity of the Playstation 3, X-Box 360, and the Nintendo Wii. The arcade universe turned to a realm of darkness and despair.  The realm is now a wasteland of crane games, cheesy Big Bertha games, and useless ticket contest games to where you actually win paper tickets for pathetic prizes that you wouldn’t spend real money on!

The wasteland has turn to myth. The myth of arcades has turned to legend.

Kids today think an arcade is a place that has 3 video games inside a motel or in the back of a shoe store. No, an arcade used to thrive, live, breathe, and enlighten the greatest of gamers of all ages. There is rumor of a place called Dave & Busters that has what an arcade used to be like, but I’m sure that is just a myth to turn to legend, too, one day.

(Okay, I’ve had my fun! Today I was tweeting about the pros and cons of going to or being at an arcade! I hope you enjoy and got a good laugh. If you laughed hard, I know your age! 🙂 Thanks for reading and I hope you can relate to the tweets below!)

You wanted to go to #PizzaHut for dinner just so you could play & eat at the arcade tables! Yessss! #ArcadeHeaven

You go to the arcade empty-handed but you find a few dropped quarters under the consoles! Yesss! #ArcadeHeaven

You intentionally TILT! the pinball machine someone’s playing on cause they’re gonna beat your High Score! #ArcadeHeaven

You discover that if you turn off the arcade game & turn it back on, sometimes you get a free game! Yesss! #ArcadeHeaven

You have no money. You check all the games & find a pinball machine with credits left! FREE GAME! Yessss! #ArcadeHeaven

You’re watching another kid play a game and he says to you, ”Here, finish my game! I gotta go!” Yesss! #ArcadeHeaven

You only have $0.25 and you discover someone else has already put $0.25 into a $0.50 game! Yesss! #ArcadeHeaven

Your favorite 4-Player arcade game has 2 screens; one is perfect but the other is badly distorted! Noooo! #ArcadeHell

You’re playing Gauntlet with 3 other players & everyone is stuck, thanks to the Red Transports! Noooo! #ArcadeHell

You got the High Score after spending $3.00 on 1 game just to have it erased when they shut it off! Noooo! #ArcadeHell

Your $0.25 doesn’t register and gets stuck! And worse, the red square COIN RETURN button is jammed! Noooo! #ArcadeHell

You only have $0.50 left to use. Your favorite game is $0.50 but one coin is a CANADIAN QUARTER? Nooooo! #ArcadeHell

You find a driving game & sit down in the seat. You insert $0.25 and you discover THE PEDAL’S BROKE! Noooo! #ArcadeHell

You insert $0.25 into the game & begin to play when you discover YOUR ‘SHOOT’ BUTTON DOESN’T WORK! Noooooo! #ArcadeHell

You pick up the gun controller & insert $0.25. The game begins as you discover THE LASER IS WAY OFF! Nooooo! #ArcadeHell

‘INSERT COIN’ flashes on the screen. You insert your last $0.25. Then is flashes: ‘1/2 INSERT COIN’ Noooooo! #ArcadeHell

(Oh, and one more things…)

On #arcade games, why did the WINNERS DON’T DO DRUGS screen picture ‘Only’ show up ‘After’ you lost? #MixedMessages

Blog #14: Writing Comedy with The Stupid Suicidalist

Comedy…either you can write it or you can’t; there is no grey area.

In my professional writing opinion, it is the hardest genre to write. If you were in a room by yourself for an entire year, completely cutoff from the world, and you tried to write comedy, your mind would have to venture deep into your psyche to recall previous embarrassing moments in life, funny things ‘other’ people have said, or just that goofy person you knew that could crack a joke at any second. Right?

A lot of comedy is portrayed from physical pain, via The Three Stooges, South Park, America’s Funniest Home Video’s, & not to go outdated but The Keystone Cops. It’s not the pain that makes us laugh, but like everything else, it’s the reactions. Same as if someone said something off color, absurd, unintended racism, or just plain old off-the-wall random left-of-the-ballpark weird. It’s the reactions to others that is the laughable of the funny.

Westerns, Horror, Comedy, Action, Drama; they’re all the same in one aspect: it’s the character(s) that make us cry, laugh, excited, or afraid. We can relate to a hero, or a vigilante, or a person in a comedy movie that is the butt of each joke. That’s what make stories so great: they are relatable!

Below is a character that I created after thinking about how to make something disturbingly serious into something comical. I’ve said it before: comedy is not my strong suit, but I like to flex my funny bone now and then, just so it doesn’t become completely worthless. These are tweets from me about a man who is trying to commit suicide and keeps messing up each attempt:

THE STUPID SUICIDALIST

I tried to kill myself by jumping out of a window 30 times! (FYI: Basement windows don’t work…) #StupidSuicidalist

I tied a brick to my ankle & I’m sitting in the pool’s deep end! (I wish these kiddies would leave!) #StupidSuicidalist

I just swallowed an entire bottle of pills! (However, these Flintstone Vitamins taste really good!) #StupidSuicidalist

Overdosing on this container of mushrooms will kill me! (Awe damnit! They put peppers on the pizza!) #StupidSuicidalist

I just found the perfect plastic bag to suffocate myself with! (Gotta take out the grapes first…) #StupidSuicidalist

I’m at The Running Of The Bulls to die! (…but the Chicago referees are kicking me off the court!) #StupidSuicidalist

My wife’ll kill me after I confess I cheated 15 years ago! (She says she still sleeps with my Dad!) #StupidSuicidalist

I’m gonna shoot guns on the White House lawn! That’ll work! (Awe Man! They’re doing fireworks NOW?!) #StupidSuicidalist

Got myself 3 cases of O’Dules! Time to die the fun way: drunk! (Oh yeah, this will work for sure!) #StupidSuicidalist

I’m downtown in the bad section throwing up the wrong gang signs! (Why are people calling me Spock?) #StupidSuicidalist

Watch! I’m gonna go up and slap that raging bull! (Bartender says it only works if you sit on it…!) #StupidSuicidalist

Desperate measures! I’m lying still on the railroad tracks! (Hope I don’t break my son’s train set!) #StupidSuicidalist

I’ve tied the noose knot tight & I’m jumping off the chair! (…I forgot to loop it around my neck!) #StupidSuicidalist

Goodbye world! I’m sticking 2 knives in the outlet! (Oh yeah….I forgot, they cut off my power…) #StupidSuicidalist

I’ve a hose to the exhaust of my car taped to the inside of the window! (Good thing I have a Hybrid!) #StupidSuicidalist

I’m on the front lawn with a metal antenna awaiting for lightning! (Wish the snow would go away…!) #StupidSuicidalist

Chop my face with this axe! Here! *THUNK* (Dude! You dented my Mom’s body spray can! I’m in trouble!) #StupidSuicidalist

I’m in westside Detroit wearing a cowboy hat & boots! (Apparently no one here in Detroit, TX cares!) #StupidSuicidalist

I’d headbutt a unicorn if I could! (But if I mess up my daughters stuffed animals, she’ll hit me!) #StupidSuicidalist

I’m going to venture through this cave blindfolded! (WOW! IT’S FREEZING IN HERE! Do I smell beer?!) ‪#StupidSuicidalist

Yes, I do have ALL the Suicidal Tendencies! (They’re my sister’s CD’s. I prefer Michael Bolton!) ‪#StupidSuicidalist

I’m going to crash the gate & kick that Wild Stallion! *BING!* (OWE! GODDAMN MERRY-GO-ROUND POLE…!) ‪#StupidSuicidalist

I’m sneaking up & going to punch that polar bear! *WHAM!* (Crap, I cut my hand on that Coke bottle!) ‪#StupidSuicidalist

I’m going to rush the crowd, jump in that ring, & bitch-slap Mike Tyson! (…after I beat Glass Joe!) ‪#StupidSuicidalist

I plugged in the radio, filled up the tub, & threw the radio in! (Should I be in the water, too…?) ‪#StupidSuicidalist

Ah-ha! Electrocution by a car battery will kill me! (but I can’t get the AA’s out of this toy car…) ‪#StupidSuicidalist

I bought a gun without a permit, loaded it, & I’m firing at my head! (…and shot water into my ear!) ‪#StupidSuicidalist

That’s it! Forget it! I’m slitting my wrists! (Damn! These butter knives are dull as hell…!) ‪#StupidSuicidalist

Hope you had a chuckle or two! I wrote them for two reasons: 1: to hopefully make someone laugh in the Twitter Universe. 2: I was pondering how to develop this character for a future story, if at all possible. I was successful in both enough to make a person RT a few of them and I got my short story plot for this bumbling man!

Metaphoric Writing Lesson of this blog: In order to make a great snowman, you need to begin with just a simple small snowball. Roll that snowball around for a while. Before you know it, you’ll have your base. Throw around another snowball for a while and find your center. The rest of the snowman is easy detailing work, and before you know it. you are staring at your creation!

Til’ Next Time…