Blog #11: FridayThe13th JokeTweets Made via Twitter on 4/13/2012

Posted: April 16, 2012 in Uncategorized

Yes, I am a DIEHARD FridayThe13th / Jason Voorhees fanatic! Movies, posters, collectables, books, comics, soundtracks, autographs from actors/actresses: I have a huge amount of the whole shebang! My wife and I in 2005 even married in March on FridayThe13th, which she agreed to just for me! (That’s love, people!) LOL

My FridayThe13th this year was hectic (first time ever!) and I was trying to put myself in a goofy mood to ease my frustrations of the workday. While texting my older brother, we started making our after work FridayThe13th plans, which movies to watch, which pics to put on our phones, etc. Now, as an author, comedy isn’t my strong suit, but I started making FridayThe13th jokes with him via texting and I started to make myself laugh.

Before I knew it, the night was over, work was done, and I had written over 30 FridayThe13th jokes as if the movies were real and they were taking place with kids/teens/councelors today. These are all the FridayThe13th jokes, all original, written by me; some influenced from my older brother. (Thanks bro!)

I hope, if you are a FridayThe13th fan, you have at least one good laugh. Enjoy!

FRIDAYTHE13th JOKE/TWEETS

TeenB: When I see Jason, I’ll shoot him in the balls!

Kid: Before or after he stabs you in the face?

#FT13thKidsToday

My ugly girlfriend wore a burlap sack til I stole Jason’s mask for her. Now she can breathe better!

#FT13thKidsToday

Boy: Get Outta The Water! Jason’s Coming!

TeenG: I’M IN THE TUB, YOU PERV…

–Thwank!–

Boy: Told ya.

#FT13thKidsToday

TeenB: Jason can’t find you up in a tree! Climb!

TeenG: Prove it!

TeenB: Okay! Stay down here and wait!

#FT13thKidsToday

(canoeing)

Boy: I SEE JASON IN THE WATER!

Counselor: WHERE?!

Boy: Geez! It’s just my missing goldfish!

#FT13thKidsToday

(canoeing)

Girl: I see Goldie in the water!

Counselor: Your fish?

Girl: No, my missing twin sister!

#FT13thKidsToday

TeenB: Let’s screw in the Tiny Tot’s cabin! They’re still dead in there and Jason never backtracks!

#FT13thKidsToday

Counselor: I’ll protect you! I don’t do drugs, drink, swear, or have sex!

(All the kids point & laugh)

#FT13thKidsToday

Girl: Jason killed her with a cinder block, sir.

Cop: Are you sure?

Boy: Yes, we have concrete evidence!

#FT13thKidsToday

Counselor: Don’t worry kids, I’m a virgin. Jason won’t kill me.

BOY: Wow! I guess nobody wants you!

#FT13thKidsToday

TeenG: You’re safe with me kids. I’m a virgin.

TeenB: But…

TeenG: I MEANT MY BROWN CHERRY, STEVEN!

#FT13thKidsToday

Boy: Jason sees US! Trick him!

Girl: How?

Boy: Act handicap, like Helen Keller, Quasimodo, or Snookie!

#FT13thKidsToday

TeenG: No, we’re not having sex by the lake!

TeenB: Jason won’t interfere! He doesn’t kill ugly chicks!

#FT13thKidsToday

Brother: If Jason killed me at camp, what would you do?

Sister: I’d tell Mom I get your room!

#FT13thKidsToday

TeenG: Ssh! Jason’s coming!

TeenB: Flash your boobs!

TeenG: What’ll that do?!

TeenB: Give me a boner!

#FT13thKidsToday

Boy: Has Jason ever killed anyone by using a hockey stick?

Girl: He’s not Canadian, you R-Tard!

#FT13thKidsToday

Girl: I’m Scared! I Wish My Mom Was Here!

Boy: To protect you?

Girl: No! So Jason’d kill her & not me!

#FT13thKidsToday

Boy: Who could kill Jason faster – Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee, or Jet Li?

Chuck Norris Jr.: My Dad!

#FT13thKidsToday

Counselor shouting: JASON! YOU’RE MAMA’S SO STUPID, SHE’S…

Kids: Oh hell no! We’re outta here!

#FT13thKidsToday

Counselor Fighting Jason: I’m gonna poke’ur eye out & skull fuck it, cause it looks like grandmas cunt!

#FT13thKidsToday

Boy finds Jason’s Mask & puts it on to scare girls.

Boy1: GGRRR!

Boy2: You found his cup, you dumbass!

#FT13thKidsToday

Counselor: Okay kids, if you see Jason, what do you do?

Kids: Push’r ass down & run the other way!

#FT13thKidsToday

Girl: OMG, He’s Killing Her! Quick! Call 9-1-1! HURRY!

Boy: Can’t You See I’m Busy YouTubing This?!

#FT13thKidsToday

Kid1: He’s Real! Shit, He See’s Us! RUN! OMG RUN!

Kid2: No wait, hold up a minute! I gotta tweet this!

#FT13thKidsToday

Jason, mumbling behind his mask at a handicap kid: I used to look just like you once!

Kid: TIMMY!

#FT13thKidsToday

Girl: I bet Jason wears a mask ’cause his skin glitters in the sunlight, like Edward. BoyToGirl: SLAP!

#FT13thKidsToday

Kid1: I bet when Jason takes a shit, he grunts like ”Co comm Mmo moonn! Jjjuussstt Sshh Ssh Shhiitt!”

#FT13thKidsToday

Kid1: If you see Jason, follow him!

Kid2: Why?

Kid1: Wherever Jason goes, theirs bound to be boobs!

#FT13thKidsToday

Kid1: JASON’S COMING! WHAT’RE WE GONNA DO?!

Kid2: Quick, dumbass! Throw an Angry Bird at him!

#FT13thKidsToday

Kid1: SHIT! Jason has an axe! RUN!

Kid2: Well good! He can chop the firewood cause I ain’t doin’ it!

#FT13thKidsToday

Girl: OMG! JASON KILLED OUR COUNSELOR!! WE’RE GONNA DIE!! (Oh sweet, he left her iPod! I call Dibs!)

#FT13thkidstoday

Kid: Jason can’t kill me today!

TeenG: What makes you so special?!

Kid: It’s Saturday The 14th, dork!

#FT13thKidsToday

PROMOTIONAL TWEETS

Sorry everyone, but I’m having a ball making these #FT13thKidsToday Jokes! HAPPY FRIDAY THE 13th EVERYONE!

I’m making FT13th jokes to celebrate! (click –> #FT13thKidsToday ) Check them out, hope you laugh!

Any #FridayThe13th fans out there? Click —> #FT13thKidsToday (I was in Joke Mode last night.) Hope you get a good laugh!

Just logged into Twitter via CPU & I’m FLOORED by the #FT13thKidsToday responses!! 🙂 Thank You All So Much!!! 🙂

Til next time–

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